28 Sep 09 The unfortunate mothers-in-law of today

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From,                                                                                                     Date :-

Name:

Address:

To,

The Honorable Minister for Law and Justice

Sub: The unfortunate situation of today’s mothers-in-law

Today we are celebrating the Birthday of Mahatma Gandhi in the whole nation. Gandhiji has quoted that. “Our nation will truly be independent when the women our country is free”. But are the women really free? It is paradoxical because in the present day, the “Mothers-in-Law” are “most unfortunate” lot of women especially those who have a daughter-in-law.

Today’s mother-in-law had been dominated by their orthodox mothers-in-law but they’d suffered silently because she was a responsible and caring woman. But now the same mother-in-law suffers the ordeals of a “Daughter-in-Law” who is an “Empowered Woman” because she has the support of 15 laws protecting her, the society, and the whole Government system at her disposal. But the mother-in-law has not a single law for her protection from such daughters-in-law. Even the National Commission for Women (NCW) discriminates in the spirit with which they acknowledge a mother-in-law’s and a daughter-in-law’s complaint. Mothers-in-law are often ignored or at best counseled when they approach the NCW with their grievances but no action is taken against the errant daughter-in-law.

There is a difference between “Perception and Reality”. In reality it’s the mother of the woman is the reason behind such presumptions. The woman is over-pampered in her natal home and the parents forget or rather avoid teaching their daughters to be tolerant, responsible and caring. Such a woman is programmed to hate her potential mother-in-law by her mother. When such a woman enters her matrimonial home, she cannot adjust herself with the in-laws. Such uncaring, irresponsible and selfish daughters-in-law are the biggest contributors of elderly abuse. This behavior of the daughter-in-law leads to misuse of laws, meant for her protection which is termed as Legal Abuse.

Again the negative attitude of the society, media, TV Serials and films, projection of the mother-in-law as the stereotyped villainous, vampish and monstrous characters is a great hindrance for the society to “Accept and Understand”, the grief and complain of a mother-in-law.

Do not the old women deserve a dignified, respected and peaceful life in their own homes where she has sacrificed for 30-40 years her own ambitions and aspirations? She has no support in her own family and relatives. Thus, she suffers silently in the four walls of her home.

1. Why today there is a necessity for old-age homes just because the daughter-in-law enters her home?
2. Why can’t mothers-in-law lead better lives in their own homes?
3. Are the mothers-in-law not women?
4. What steps has the NCW taken for the protection of these forgotten women?
5. Why is the Government blind to their sufferings?

Mothers-in-law suffer abuse, mental torture, physical assault, humiliation, defamation and hatred at the hands of their selfish, empowered, vicious, vindictive and malicious daughters-in-law.

Violence can be classified in four major categories:

1. Male to Male
2. Male to Female
3. Female to Male and
4. Female to Female.

The mother-in-law vs. daughter-in-law relationship comes in the last category. Even Ekta Kapoor is promoting the one sided laws of NCW in her serials.

Do we get our sons married to a woman so that in turn she may harass us anytime she wishes? Just because laws supporting can be “misused” by her according to her whims and fancies does it mean an old mother-in-law has no voice of her own?

Why the mother of the woman does wishes the best for her not so average daughter?

Why do they aspire for an excellent son-in-law for their most ordinary daughters and show great dreams to their daughters?

This is the reason that the woman not being able to fulfill her big dreams and not being to adjust herself in her matrimonial home, very conveniently the blame is put on the mother-in-law.

Hence my request is to the honorable law minister to consider the plight of those  mothers-in-law who are dying a new death every day in their own homes.

Tags: Daughter-in-Law, daughters in law, domestic violence, gandhiji, government system, grievances, honorable minister, Indian Family, law and justice, mahatma gandhi, Marriage, matrimonial home, mother-in-law, mothers in law, ordeals, perception, present day, presumptions, Society, Tortured, unfortunate situation, violence against women, Women, Women's Rights