12 Sep 09 Attitude towards mom-in-laws should change

We will try to meet every Sunday and discuss cases of harassment

Odeal D’Souza

In September 2007, a 50-year-old lady along with her family members were arrested in the city, after her daughter-in-law levied false charges of dowry harassment against them and demanded Rs12 lakh as compensation. Two years later, she and two other women formed an NGO, the ‘All India Mothers-in-law Protection Forum (AIMPF)’ to fight against injustices that mothers-in-law often have to face in the county. This was launched last Sunday in the city. Neena Dhulia, one of the coordinators of the NGO, spoke to Odeal D’Souza on the forum’s initiatives and other related issues.

Tell us something about the initial days of the forum.
When we, some of the founding members of this forum who are also the members of Safe Indian Family Foundation, met for discussions, we realised that all of us faced a similar problem-false cases of dowry harassment filed against us by our daughters-in-law. So we decided to form this organisation that was officially launched last Sunday. Apart from myself, there are two other co-ordinators – Mamta Naik and Sahira Shiggon.

How has the response been?
The response has been overwhelming . We got a lot of support not only from India but also from internationally. At present, we have 50 members. People have been calling us from Nagpur and Delhi wanting to form such organisations there.

What are your association’s demands from the government?
Firstly, the attitude of the judiciary as well as the national commission for Women towards complaints filed by mothers-in-law must change. In fact, their complaints should be treated with equal seriousness as the complaints file by daughters-in-law. The rights and the interests of mothers-in-law must also be protected. The Domestic Violence Act is extremely gender-biased in India. We also want amendments in Section 498A, so that police arrest an accused only after proper investigation.

How do you plan to act?
Our agenda will be to meet every Sunday and discuss cases of harassment faced by the members. Apart from this, we will hold dharnas and also press conferences. Our main aim is to promote awareness in the society. We want to break the trend where mothers-in-law are stereotyped as villains when in reality, they are often the victims.

How can we put an end to this alarming trend where a growing number of women are being tortured by their daughters-in-law?
We should remember the fact that a successful marriage is all about understanding where both the man and the woman should try to understand and accept the family members of their spouses. No two families are same, and once you accept this, adjusting with your spouse’s family members will be all the more easier. There should be co-operation from all sides.
o_dsouza@dnaindia.net

Tags: Daughter-in-Law, daughters in law, domestic violence, domestic violence act, dowry, false charges, family foundation, Indian Family, initial days, injustices, lakh, mamta, Marriage, mother-in-law, mothers in law, nagpur, naik, police arrest, proper investigation, sahira, violence against women, Women, Women's Rights